Fire Down Below - LIVE

#‎FireDownBelow‬  

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Dove Glitch is embarrassed about everything above her knees and below her belly button. When she has to fill a delicate, embarrassing prescription the last thing she needs is a sexy-as-hell (and brand spanking new) pharmacist behind the counter.

Johnson Fitzwell’s first day of his dream career also happens to coincide with the exact moment Dove needs her feminine meds filled. His glorious voice is way too loud–as in, he should be counting down the hits with Ryan Seacrest kind of loud. Thanks to Johnson’s handsome face and gorgeous jaw line, Dove dives headlong into her waking nightmare and asks for a vagina-scented cream.

How could she not fall for him? Dove's only active goal now is to get Johnson to kiss her right on the lips. Either set. However, his horrible girlfriend is one of many obstacles preventing her from making that fantasy a reality. When Dove defends Johnson in the most unhygienic, unconventionally gross way in the middle of a crowded restaurant, their tender, slightly tantric relationship is off to a galloping, farting start.

Each print copy of this book will be dipped in holy water by my mom, and glared at by my father as he purses his lips. Neither will help. So, drop your pants and turn to the left and cough. I hope you're not allergic to latex, because it’s time to fill your prescription. Anally.

Oh God. We’re talking about me being naked, in the shower with cooter cream. Please world, end. Kill me.

“I know it’s not soap. I just… if it’s scented… I can’t do scented. Flowers and stuff like that. Fruit-flavored soaps make… things… burnish.” She could tell from the peeks at his face Mr. Fitzwell had never stepped foot in bath and lotion store, wanting to try the array of fun fragrances. Nor had he purchased Peppermint Candy shower gel, foamed up his nether regions, and felt like he had dipped them in lava. Dove crossed and uncrossed her legs at the memory.

Mr. Fitzwell seemed concerned. “Okay, just a heads-up. It’s definitely not good to put any fruits or plant life near your genitals.” He made a V with his hands and formed his own pretend vagina in front of his pants.

Dove covered her eyes and tried to defend herself because now she could hear the sickly older woman beating her supporters with a purse.

Dove’s mumbling got louder with her embarrassment. “I don’t put weird things down… there. Just make sure that the cream’s vagina-scented. Just plain. For vaginas.” She kept her eyes on the counter. 

MY REVIEW:
What on earth did I just read?!? Holy bat-$hit craziness! This one is so daring, only Debra would be brave enough to publish it. Her twisted sense of humor is written all over it. I loved every minute but I'm just as twisted maybe. You definitely need a good dose of crazy to completely comprehend and enjoy this for what it is. But don't let the flatulence and dick-smack turn you off. There is an underlying story being told here and it's surprisingly very good. The characters are wacky but you can't help it...they wedge right into your heart like a bad pair of underwear embracing your crack. I'm particularly fond of Duke. He may be brash and vulgar but he has a heart of pure gold. 

“You’re rocking the full monty? A fur bikini? A wheezing wildebeest? Well, I’ll be your fucking Hairy Plotter. Hold up.” Duke waddled around in his homemade craziness and returned quickly with a tube of what looked like lotion. “This here? I used it on my face. Seven minutes and I was slippery like a nipple in oil.” Duke pantomimed squirting a huge handful into his palm . “Just get naked, put it on your hand , and rub it the fuck in.” He rubbed himself over and over. 
“Duke! Snap out of it.” Dove rolled her eyes as he snickered at her. 
“Just wanted to make sure you were paying attention. I went ahead and did my balls and my ass crack, too.” Duke started doing deep knee bends. 
Please don’t tell me why. 
“I was hoping to decrease my shit - taking time — cut down on resistance and such.” 
Dove stuck her fingers in her ears and sang , “La , la , la.” 
Duke moved closer and shouted the rest . “My sac is like a set of fresh mozzarella balls!” He tossed the lotion at her , and Dove quickly caught the tube. “Seriously, bitch, don’t make a man face a jungle . It’s 2015 after all.”

The secondary characters are just as engaging and entertaining as the leads. The crazy antics from beginning to end keep you holding on for the next. I absolutely cannot wait for the next installment to see what Deb cooks up!

 

There are a lot of eyes in Debra Anastasia’s house in Maryland. First, her own creepy peepers are there, staring at her computer screen. She’s made two more sets of eyes with her body, and the kids they belong to are amazing. The poor husband is still looking at her after 17 years of marriage. At least he likes to laugh. Then the freaking dogs are looking at her—six eyeballs altogether, though the old dog is blind. And the cat watches her too, mostly while knocking stuff off the counter and doing that internal kitty laugh when Deb can’t catch the items fast enough.
           Debra has a smattering of books in a few genres. There are two in the Seraphim Series and three in the Poughkeepsie Brotherhood Series with a prequel, Poughkeepsie Begins in the near future. Fire Down Below is the first in the comedic Gynzaule Series. The second, Fire in the Hole, will be published in late 2015. The Revenger, a dark paranormal romance will debut this summer. And last, a novella called Late Night with Andres is special because 100% of the proceeds go to breast cancer research. (So go get it right now, please!) You can find her at DebraAnastasia.com and on Twitter @Debra_Anastasia. But be prepared...

 

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Three, Two, One (321) Blitz and Giveaway

Three, Two, One (321) by J.A. Huss 

Publication date: January 28th 2015 

Genres: Erotica, Romance, Suspense

ONE GIRL

Battered, barefoot, and huddled under a bookstore awning in the pouring rain, Blue only knows one thing. After fifteen months of captivity, finally… she is free.

TWO FRIENDS

Self-made millionaires JD and Ark are not out to save anyone when they stumble upon a wet and shivering girl one earlySunday morning. But when you sell sex for a living and salvation rings your bell… you answer the call.

THREE SOULMATES

After years of searching, love lifts the veil of darkness, and three people—with three very big secrets—find themselves bound together in a relationship that defies the odds.

Or does it?

Love. Lust. Sex.

This trinity might be perfection… but not everything should come in threes.

WARNING: This is a STANDALONE non-traditional M/F/M ROMANCE with a non-traditional ending.

EXCERPT: 

Who is this man?

How did I get from where I was to where I am?

Why do I constantly have to ask myself this question?

“Did you like school growing up, Blue?”

“You’re out of questions. You owe me, I don’t owe you.”

His laugh makes his chest rumble beneath my back. “You’re right. I do. But we’ve got all day, so let’s just talk for now. High school. Yes or no?”

I let out a long breath and try to enjoy the intimacy he’s offering. I don’t get a lot of offers. “Yes, I liked school.”

“Were you smart? Did you get good grades?”

“Yes.”

“And what did you want to be when you grew up?”

And there it is. He’s pretty good at this, I have to give him credit for that. He’s asking questions about the distant past so he can draw conclusions about the present.

“It’s not a hard question.”

“What did you want to be?” I ask, not to be a bitch and throw it back in his face, but because I’m interested. “King of Public Porn was something you aspired to?”

“Believe it or not, I wanted to be a soldier. A Navy SEAL.”

“Hmmm. Tough one. It’s like me saying I wanted to be a novelist.” I look over my shoulder a little so I can get a peek at his face. But he surprises me by resting his scratchy chin on my shoulder, making the moment even more intimate than it was.

“Huh. I don’t see the connection.”

I roll my eyes even though he can’t see them. “It’s a dream people have. The reality of it is so much bullshit.”

“Because it’s hard to make it to the finish line?”

“Are you a Navy SEAL?”

“Are you a novelist?”

“No, that’s my point. It’s just a dream.”

“Do you even write?” His hands slide up my front and cup my breasts. He squeezes them hard and the familiar throbbing begins between my legs. Goddamn, this guy is good. Always got his eye on the prize. And how the fuck did sex with him become a treat I desire instead of the other way around? How did he do that? Make me want him so thoroughly?

“Blue?”

I let out a long breath, hoping to calm the rising storm building inside me. But the heat of the water, and the heat of his body, and the heat of my own desire are all I can think about. So instead of evading, and because I want him to fuck me so badly, and at this point I realize he knew that denying me last night would make me even more susceptible this morning… I answer him with the truth. “I do.”

“Mmm,” he says, his hands rubbing down the inside of my thighs. They dip so low, I can feel the water swirl around my clit.

This makes me gasp a little, and for a fraction of a second, I’m embarrassed. But then the little swirls of water are back and that’s all I can think about.

“Fuck me,” I whisper.

“What do you write, Blue?” he asks like a man in control.

“Stories,” I say, like a woman on the edge of sexual frustration madness.

“Where can I read one?”

“Fuck me.”

“If I fuck you, will you let me read one?”

I turn around in the tub and look him in the eyes. They are knowing. Like they know I’m his. “Fuck me like you’d fuck your wife on her wedding night.”

“And you’ll give me a story?”

I nod. “I promise.” It comes out as a whisper.

He leans down and kisses me. His hand cups the side of my face and I turn into him even more. My leg hits his erection and that makes him claim my mouth harder. His tongue pushes inside, searching. Like he’s seeking the truth and it can only be found by twining ourselves together. 

REVIEW: 

3-2-1...Oh-My-God. I'm still hungover from this one. I didn't sleep the night I finished it...really, no joke. The characters and story kept reeling through my blown mind. I always say this after reading JA's latest book but I really don't know how this one could ever be topped. It was beyond amazing. Blue, JD and Ark are three very complex characters all with their own secrets and agendas that don't really start to unravel until you get deeper into the story. You know they are hidden, just waiting to knock you on your a$$. I landed hard...I think I still have a bruise where my heart should be. I don't really want to get into the details of the story too much. This is one you want to go in blind and feel the full impact as it's happening. 

"I want them both.
They both want me.
We want each other.

Her hand comes up, her palm sliding along the rough stubble of my cheek. And then JD’s hand is on top of hers and we lie there, enjoying the moments. Enjoying the beginning of something new.

Not sex.
Not lust.
Love."

So the premise of the story is about one girl, two friends, three soulmates. It is dark, gritty and not sugar coated in any way. If you like the light HEA's where they ride off into the sunset, you will be disappointed. Three Two One is more than a romance, mystery or erotica novel. You have all of these elements but it goes deeper; there isn't a detail without meaning or significance. From the minute you meet Ark to the very last sentence, you are invested. The steam rolls off the pages they are so hot, your heart will constrict with anguish for all three and your pulse will pound when things fall apart and you don't know who to trust. This will certainly be among my top reads for the year...no question.

Purchase:

AMAZON: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00SURBNCE
B&N: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/three-two-one-j-a-huss/1121122913
iTUNES: https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/id962261738

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JA Huss is the USA Today bestselling author of more than twenty romances. She likes stories about family, loyalty, and extraordinary characters who struggle with basic human emotions while dealing with bigger than life problems. JA loves writing heroes who make you swoon, heroines who makes you jealous, and the perfect Happily Ever After ending.

You can chat with her on Facebook (www.facebook.com/AuthorJAHuss), Twitter (@jahuss), and her kick-ass romance blog, New Adult Addiction (www.newadultaddiction.com).

If you’re interested in getting your hands on an advanced release copy of her upcoming books, sneak peek teasers, or information on her upcoming personal appearances, you can join her newsletter list (http://eepurl.com/JVhAr) and get those details delivered right to your inbox.

Author Links:

http://jahuss.com/

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www.goodreads.com/author/show/6446815.J_A_Huss